Happily Healing Out Loud
I’m starting to get into this habit of only posting once a week, which I’m not sure is good nor bad??? For a while I was on a roll, posting several times a week. So what happened? Good question! I think part of the answer is I’m getting more clear as to the direction I am going. I’m taking my own advice of listening to and following my heart, and my heart is telling me to start some other things up. Don’t worry, I’m not leaving my blog or anything – I love this, I’m proud of it, it is important for me – I just have other irons in the fire that need stoking. Boy, I wish I had more than two hands sometimes! HA!
So while I may not have posted every day this week, I am getting more in touch with my purpose and my passion, and isn’t this why I started this in the first place? Yes, it was. That, and to share and inspire, support, educate and guide others (including myself) on this journey of Motherhood. To tell my stories (uncut and honest), to heal myself through writing, and letting the world (well, someday maybe the world, but for now just you…) know that they are not alone and that somewhere out there, someone is going through the same thing.
I did something very brave for myself yesterday. I cut my pills in half. HUH? Yes, I am still taking anti-depressant medication. I have wanted to wean myself for several months, but the day I went to the Doctor and talked to her about my intention, I literally was in tears because I wasn’t ready. How was I ready to be medication-free when I made my appointment, and then be freaked out and terrified to go off them just a few days later? Life is funny that way, and our minds and bodies are extremely intuitive as to what we need. I will say that I have gotten very good at hearing what my body is trying to tell me. I’m not always so good at listening, but my awareness is usually up there, ranking high.
Anyway, as I was saying… I cut my pills in half. Last night.
I have been feeling pretty good lately, which is odd (well, not really for me – I am a glutton for deadlines and procrastination and like to feel busy, even though I do still enjoy a long day of couch surfing in my jammies)… where was I? Oh yes, feeling pretty good, despite being busy. Not just the usual busy of taking care of the kids (as if that isn’t enough), but busy with all of my “irons in the fire.” I’m happy, though. Happy with what I’m doing, what I’m working on. Happy with the people I’m surrounding myself with. Happy with my vision. I have a ton of stress in my life right now, but I am honestly happy – and that makes a huge difference.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this post, but I felt an urge to share my step forward, and also to share that I still have sooo many articles and posts tucked away in my little brain, and someday (soon, I promise…) they will be typed up and posted. Even if no one else reads them, they will be healing for me to have written them “out loud.”
Posted on February 3, 2012, in The Post Partum Period and tagged being present, family, happy, mommy, parenting, post partum depression, PPD, self honoring, stay-at-home Mom. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.