I Don’t Want Flowers

Call me crazy, but I don’t want flowers. Let me qualify this by saying if it’s a choice between flowers and an act of service, I choose the latter.

I love flowers – the colors, the scent, the brightness they bring to my home and my heart. I also love a tidy house, clean dishes, the laundry put away, the trash emptied, the floor vacuumed, dinner made, the boys bathed, the bed made, the mail opened and filed, the shopping done, my water bottle filled (had to throw that one in), and on and on. So, if someone (a.k.a. the husband) wants to do something special and/or show me their (his) love and appreciation, I would much prefer help with any of the above-mentioned chores. To me, helping out around the house would equal a garden full of roses or a valley painted in wildflowers.

Perhaps it’s just the timing of my life right now, because I used to absolutely love getting flowers. And don’t get me wrong, I still love it and I’m thankful and appreciative, but there’s a part of me that secretly wishes that “someone” would “do” something for me instead of buying me something. I guess it partly has to do with the fact that money is tight right now, and I know how much nice flowers cost – they’re not cheap – and I get nice flowers. My challenge: how do I tell someone thanks, but no thanks, especially when it’s a gift of love (from my husband) with the best intentions?

I know that men are different than women – in more than just the obvious ways. I know that generally (sorry, I don’t want to offend anyone here…) men don’t “see” everything that women do. Women tend to be more aware of their surroundings and notice every little thing. Whether this is a curse or a blessing is up to each individual. I am constantly going back and forth on that one myself. Either way, I am mindful of literally everything that needs to be done around the house. I notice when the dinner plates aren’t rinsed and put in the dishwasher. I notice when the hook from the shower curtain slips off the shower rod. I notice when a jacket falls off the hook on the wall and is covering up the heater vent. I notice, I notice, I notice…

The point is, there is ALWAYS something to be done, and I hate being a nagging wife asking my husband to please “do this” and “do that.” For just once, I would love to have something at home taken care of without me having to point it out. Am I asking too much? Is it even possible for my husband to “see” all the “little” things (which yes, might be little, but to me they add up to a whole lot)? I’m not faulting him. He does help around the house (when he’s home – he works his butt off!) and he’s a wonderful Dad. But, I just wish…

I guess my answer to my dilemma is to (oh my gosh, wait for it…) communicate with him – what a novel idea! J I would bet that he has no idea what I’m thinking. I bet he doesn’t get that all these little things that he walks right by every day absolutely drive me crazy. I suppose if I told him what I was feeling and share my thoughts with him, maybe next time he would skip the flower shop and decide to fix a yummy dinner instead (yes, Hon, I know you can do it!). Maybe, I simply need to tell him…

I love flowers, I just don’t want any.

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About pamelazimmer

Pamela Zimmer is a #1 bestselling author and speaker, transforming her personal pain and experience of Postpartum Depression into her purpose and passion. Through her #1 bestselling book, Reclaim The Joy of Motherhood, and her mentorship program, The HAPPY Mommy Method™, Pamela guides mothers on a healing journey from battling their own Postpartum Depression to embracing motherhood with joy.

Posted on March 2, 2012, in Body, Mind & Spirit and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I guess you have to line up behind the leagues of women in the same predicament. For the life of me, I can’t understand why one gender can see and the other can’t. I used to be the same way. Forget the flowers. Forget the take-out dinners on Friday night. Please DON’T spend money needlessly. Help ME. Can’t you see I’m drowning here?

    I bet this post gets lots of communication going. Great subject.

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