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Can it Get Any Better?

Wow, what a week, and it’s only half-way through! So far, Zack has had two days of Kindergarten, and he loves it – doing great (thank goodness). But did I really have any doubts? Nope. I just picked him up and dropped him at home with the babysitter (may I remind you of my babysitter extraordinaire – I love her!) and now I’m sitting at the local coffee shop, enjoying an iced soy mocha, with (even more) time to myself for a couple hours. Seriously, could it get any better?

Well, YES! Not only do we have the seriously momentous milestone of Zackery starting Kindergarten this week, but also… wait for it… we have Brayden who accomplished a most impressive task. He (warning: Mommy talk coming) pooped in the potty!!! Yes, my little two-year old went number two like a big boy. We were both so proud (and relieved – him probably more than me – had to squeeze that one in – sorry, I’m just on a roll here – oh my, stop, stop! – oh how I make myself laugh!). So, we have older brother going to Kindergarten and little brother progressing on his potty training (for which I haven’t even really been pushing him to do), and I ask again, could it get any better?

Well, YES! Did you catch that I mentioned I was at a coffee shop? Translated, that means no kids. Solo. How in the world did I manage to go from two crazy (but wonderfully loving) boys all summer long driving me crazy to several hours in a row, two days in a row, of pure uninterrupted Me Time? I must admit yesterday was quite strange for me. Coming home from dropping off Zack to his first day of school, with just Brayden and I in the house all alone, was weird. It was almost too quiet (this coming from someone whose head would almost explode from constant noise all day long). It really was weird. Nice, but weird. So here I sit, by myself, knowing that Brayden is probably just now waking up from his nap and Zackery is probably playing motorcycles, both happily at home with Babysitter Extraordinaire. Could it get any better?

Well, YES! My husband and I finally have a planned night away. Just me and him, husband and wife. I am very much looking forward to it. It’s not for a few weeks, but I’m excited just thinking about going out as a couple and feeling like a woman again, and not so much as Mommy. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being Mommy, but sometimes a girl a woman needs to feel like a woman. Okay, so I have to pause here, because I now have two songs stuck in my head: Shania Twain’s ‘I Feel Like A Woman’ and Brad Paisley’s ‘It Did’ – yes, you got me, I’m a country music fan. So yes, in a few weeks I get to go out and drink wine and have adult conversations and enjoy the company of the man I fell in love with. How wonderful! Will it get any better?

Well, I sure hope so. I’ve had a challenging summer, but I made it through. The boys and I are both stronger for it, we’ve all grown and we’ve all learned. I can only imagine things getting better. I’ve been at the bottom, and I’ve climbed back up, but there’s still a lot more upward climbing to do in my life. So yes, it can get better, and it will. I can’t wait!


*Sidenote: I feel I need to note that the images in this post are not my own. Thanks internet.*


Dear Zackery – Happy Day Before Kindergarten

I can’t believe you are getting so big. In less than 2 weeks you will be 5. Five, yes FIVE! In less than 24 hours you will be at your very first day of Kindergarten. Big boy school, not just preschool. This is real school, with classrooms and a library, a computer lab and a lunchroom. Wow, I just can’t believe it’s here. I know you are excited. I’m excited for you. I’m so proud of you and all that you have already learned. I can’t wait to see what you learn next.

I’m also a bit sad. I’m sure it’s normal. I’m sure I’ll have some tears in my eyes tomorrow. I’m also sure I’ll have a big huge smile! 🙂

I think we’re all set for tomorrow. We’ve already dropped off your school supplies, you have a brand new Cars 2 backpack, and we have everything you need for a hearty breakfast, a nutritious lunch and a yummy snack tomorrow. You’ve met your teacher, seen the classroom and been on the playground. I’m not sure how else I can prepare you (except of course with a million hugs and kisses – which I’ll try to do without causing a scene).

I love you so much little buddy. Mommy and Daddy (and Brayden) are all so proud of you. You are officially a Kindergartner now. Have fun and go learn!

Four Weeks And Counting

My little baby (my first little baby), my big snugglebug, is going to Kindergarten. In four weeks. I can’t wait. And then, I get sad and nostalgic and all I want to do is snuggle him up in my arms and lay next to him.

Yes, in four weeks, my Zackery goes to school. We are all excited. He is excited to have a classroom with a bunny and a new playground and a big lunchroom to eat in and having to make new friends. He likes making new friends. Way to go Zack! When I was his age, I don’t think I was as excited about making new friends as he is – although I don’t really remember my first day of Kindergarten (It was a while ago. Not a looooong time ago, but long enough). I’ve asked him about making new friends, and he says he likes to. There was a moment when I was worried about him: Brayden and Zack went to a day camp and I stayed with them both the first day. They both clung to me like elmer’s glue – cuz, you know, there’s nothing quite like the real elmer’s stuff. It was a good hour or so before Zack left my side, but when he did, he was off and running with a new friend. So, I’m not really worried anymore. He’ll do great.

In four weeks, I will be dropping him off at 9am and picking him up at 3pm, five days a week. It will be great – to have some time. Time with just Brayden, time to myself (Brayden still naps a good 2-3 hours a day… on a “good” day), time to re-energize and be excited to have both kids together for a whirlwind afternoon into evening before bed. Time. Just plain time. I’m excited that Zack will be learning new things. I like to think I am teaching him good social skills and “best manners,” but when it comes to the academic stuff we aren’t the best team for each other. I recognize that. I’m okay with that.

In four weeks, my baby goes to Kindergarten. I will be happy, I will be sad, but most of all, I will be a proud Mama.

Guilty Until Proven

The saying is “innocent until proven guilty.” Well, I know I’m innocent, but I also know I’m guilty. Huh, you ask? How can I be both? Well let me tell you, I am.

I’m innocent because I have not committed any crimes (nor do I plan to!), and I honestly think I’m feeling “normal” Mommy feelings. I’m guilty because I’m finding myself falling back into the remnants of Mommy Guilt. I know, I know – it’s silly, right? So why am I having these thoughts? I don’t know for sure, but here’s my best guess:

Zackery is going to start Kindergarten in the Fall. From what I hear (and I really have to get off my butt – which I really am not on that often as every time I sit down I am immediately rousted up to get something, but – ha! – that’s another story), half-day Kindergarten in the public school is free (as I would expect public school to be). But (sorry, I can’t help it), for full-day it costs money. Personally, I have never heard of paying for full-day Kindergarten. Then again, I have never been responsible for signing someone up for Kindergarten. So, perhaps it’s not odd, but for me, it’s causing some instances of guilt.

We are in a tight financial position right now. I was hoping to save the entire cost of preschool once Zack transitions to Elementary School (OMG that sounds so big and scary! Is he really getting that big?!). I could in fact do this if I opted to only have him go half-day. BUT (underlying theme of this post – again sooo sorry for my inappropriate humor today), I really want him to go full-day. He is used to being in school from 9-3ish, and even if right now it’s only 3 days a week, I think it’s good for him. I realize that Kindergarten will be a full 5 days a week, so even with half-days I will get a little (yes, I mean little) break every day. However, if I have to drop him off at 9 and then pick him up at 11:45, that doesn’t give me much time to get anything done except possibly a quick run to the grocery store, unload at home, give Brayden a snack and then turn right around to go pick up Zack.

Guilty? Yes. I really want more time.

So, what’s a Mommy to do? I guess only time will tell (and the waiting list for full-day Kindergarten). My husband knows my dilemma. I know our financial situation. My friends know what I’m feeling. I know my mental capacity. Bottom line, I guess I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting more time for myself (which in turn would make me happier: a happier woman, a happier wife, a happier mother – you get the picture). A little extra time of structured activity for Zack and free (half-free, I still would have Brayden) time for me, with minimal cost is definitely cheaper than therapy!

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